Just Exist

I once dreamed
I first dreamed
I dreamed earliest
of bounding around
my backyard
Gravity meant little
The ground was my springboard
My playcenter was overcome
Ten, twenty feet upwards
Fine mist all around
No temperature
No sound

I always came down

I enjoy a sense of black edges
Borders pitch dark
Stars
Little white stars
Make for no borders
Turn my head everywhere
Find no end
No edge
Space
I'm in space
I'm free to transfer
to move
Nebulas and clusters
and anomalies
Ambient music

A fearful sense of eternity

But in reality
All I have is the water
Public swimming
Shutting all out
Natural ambience
Muffled bass tones
Close my eyes
Drift
Hold my breath
only long enough
before I must surface
But for those minutes
Those couple hundred seconds
I float
I sink
I have no control
I turn all directions by current
I move barely a few feet
I tune out thought
I forget
I know

I just

exist.

--Andrew Hall