"God and Satan Talk"
by Jerry Vilhotti

"So you say you are going to make humonks, G?"

"No, human beings!"

"Like you?"

"In our image!"

"Why do you say, 'our'?"

"I'm modest!"

"So you say they're going to be almost-perfect like you?"

"Yes, no blemishes. No hate - only love!"

"So you'll always be forgiving?"

"That's my nature - damn it!"

"Hey, G, if we didn't do old-time religion, would you even exist like you did in Salem?"

"Duh, I don't think so. I think, thus I am."

"What about if we took a pill doing all our nutrional needs - would we still-"

"That's an interesting idea."

The devil laughed, knowing the temper God had. "So, no bodily functions?"

"That's what I said!"

"Would it not be better to test them?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"When I see you sitting on your throne squriming, I think you are uncomfortable."

"That's a crock full of crap!"

"I got an idea, G."

"I'm omnipotent!"

"I know! I know no fly can land on you, but don't you think you should test beings you are going to create to see if they muster up - so most of them don't become insane?"

"Like, what are you saying?"

"Only this: see if they can handle body functions without killing themselves and others who they might hate?"

"You mean test them?"

"Yeah. See if they're going to shape up. After all, your reputation is at stake."

"I'm omnipotent!"

"And who says you're not?"

"So what's your test?"

"Like you can make them do bodily functions. I know you can prevent this by doing your digestive thing, but would it not be interesting to see if they can handle all the exposions, odors and trials and tribulations?"

"Easy! If I make them - that's easy bull!"

And so the great experiment began, but before long, after all the games being played in caves with noise contests - war began.

When God saw all this with the water people - he lost his temper and sent a great flood to drown all the bastards and he would start again with another bunch but God couldn't figure how to eliminate the devil's idea, and so mankind would have to live with it all!

END 2-3-12

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