The Professor said religions were going to be slave-masters out to control the poor inhabitants of "Aqua" by perpetuating their fear of death and the unknown to making minds become so warped that little or no thinking would go on to any depth; then, he added vehemently that greed would slaughter God in attempts to find a self worth and indeed become their mad-off bankter god. He suggested the great experment would be to have the inhabitants have bodily functions to see how they would handle the messy crap and noise of it all. His race had beaten the scourge and were never bothered again by its ugly, odor-filled fidgets that comedy at the time had used for laughs; enhancing the low-self-esteem-embracing mind.
The philosopher was countered by Professor Gilgamesh who said the womb was more powerful than the brain and wanted an "un-chosen" people to write a book of their beginnings - hanging gardens and all - to see if it would be stolen and then other fictions added - just for fun. Philosopher Pessimistic Shaupenhauer could not agree more, saying Nietzsche was a madman off his rocker trying to create supermen among self-haters known as Bund-American brown-shirts!
At this point, others on the panel begin to interject some of their ideas--like Benny Zoroaster insisting a Son of Light should be introduced with twelve apostles to see where that would lead--while Doctor Agnostic said that since even they themselves did not know their origins, it would be a sadistic game to play on inhabitants still living in caves or not very far from the ones they recently left; conquering to some extent their fear of lightning and thunder.
Professor Heron, the machine-guy genius inventor of con schemes. It would be a real party, and said he could make one thing that would have people visiting "holy places"; his voice indicated the sarcasm of it all, to inject a coin into the machine and that weight would make a lever go down to produce just enough "holy water" to cleanse them of the dirt they felt which to their minds would become a miracle and then overwhelm them with huge doors opening to the tune of thunder - making the business of religion flourish - until a real cure came along--if indeed they had it in them to find real cures and not pseudo-panaceas to lessen the fear in their hearts and take away the stain on their souls. It would be a real party - with no tea!
Duh Shrub and his father Mister Cheeeny suggested to make many of the inhabitants be very, very poor--like children dying of hunger--yet able to work for the super-rich-like one-percent and then see if they could survive in tents which could be called Shrub Tent Towns. Mister Hoover Damn agreed vehemently by slamming his GOP on the table, sighting a compassionate way that would indeed test their mettle and make sure a great war could happen between a great leader wearing a mustache and doing a little freaky-dance while a great city called Paris was burning with fire emanating from her genitalia, and his pupil Mister Boner, Mister Turtle Face and Mister Candoher put their little Gops up on the table standing on their tip-toes to show agreement, compliance and followship.
And so the experiment on a new discovered planet began and all the scientists and super-elite of the planet Control - a galaxy away - awaited excitedly like little children being presented with a new toy on the morning they called The New Fucking Order.
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