by Jerry Vilhotti

Not only did Johnny's speech professor teach at Harvard for many years, but one of his prize students was THE JFK--killed by lovers of death--whom he taught to correctly say all his words, but somehow the future president also adopted his mannerism (out of deep admiration for this instructor who also came from the upper elite, whose great-great-grandfather had made their fortune in the slave trade and opium thing and then founded a Middletown home, the relaxorium that became a place for very nervous stressed out people, and then went on to found the "Skull and Bones" secret society at Yale and whose grandson would help steal Geronimo's skull which would make it even stronger than their rival "Scroll and Key" that refused to form an alliance with their father country after the great Tea Upheaval happened to not pay debts owed England, which unlike "The Skull" that would make sure the elite of both countries would stay united in the pursuit of gathering in most of the money in the world; laying about to be plucked in their great world order that fostered a great caste system to keep riffraff at a distance and enriching their world with so many conquests that the sun never set upon the whole misery of it all and then later would convince the government to not make its own money interest free and instead, borrow the money from their banks which only charged small interest at first but would raise the rates higher when big loans were involved) of using his index finger, placing it on the head of every word he wanted to emphasize. In every class, Professor Preston Cott Bush would use the finger-gesture forty or fifty times while lifting his right eyebrow to make sure all his students realized the connection - one to the other. Then he would add, from down deep in his stomach: " The complete obstruction of the breath passage in the articulation of the speech sound b is to also bring the opposing surface of the teeth of the two jaws into contact ...."

In addition to all this, the professor gave the class many profound insights about how to detect the "lowers" from the "uppers", which probably began in the first cave dwelling when some realized that fear of lightning and thunder could make slaves of those so afraid, and began bringing forth such ideas as religion, the manipulation of self-hate and sundry other notions of how to rule their domain shaped so that division made for weakness among the beer-drinking masses.

He told them profound facts like the lower classes would sound the T in often while the well-educated did not; however, if speaking to one with a British accent, one should expect the T to be sounded. His Harvard classes would think that fact was "a pissa!"

Johnny's class was made up of mostly New Yorkers, Asiatic peoples, rich Cubans fleeing Castro with their money and a few students from the ivy league school down the way a bit called "Mourningside", who came up to the school's biology department where Jonas Salk had studied and to its speech department to learn how to talk good American by Professor Shrub, so nicknamed by them to insinuate they were a greener ivy.

For his finals, Johnny would read Faulkner's Nobel Prize speech and not only did he believe all the thoughts rendered by the writer but he made sure he kept his jaw in proper contact.

Johnny was given a B for the course and, along with two A's in sociology courses, was able to finally matriculate after five years of attending - thinking he might become the school's janitor while trying to secure a degree after fifty or so years!

The school many people called "The Poor Man's Haavaad" was situated in a ghetto by a polluted river that was once a beautiful highway of deep waters for the first "heathens" who found it.

END 3-18-10

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